G I Jane and Major Pain is a short script for 2 actresses by D. M. Larson
PREVIEW:
(JANE wears a soldier’s uniform and is packing things into a duffle bag. PENNY, a younger sister, watches her from behind something. JANE smiles and holds up her phone like a walkie-talkie)
JANE: This is Corporal Jones contacting command. I’m detecting an unknown entity in my perimeter.
PENNY: It’s just me, Jane.
JANE: I can never be too careful.
PENNY: What’s a corple?
JANE: Corporal. Two stripes.
(JANE points to the two stripes on her arm)
PENNY: Does that mean you’re in charge?
JANE: Not really.
PENNY: So who’s in charge?
JANE: Lots of people. Sergeants, lieutenants…
PENNY: Captains?
JANE: Yes, ma’am. And majors.
PENNY: I’m a major.
JANE: Really? I didn’t know that.
PENNY: Yup. The army called me and made me a major.
JANE: So that’s how you become a major? I always wondered how that happened.
PENNY: I’m your boss now and you have to do everything I say.
(JANE stands at attention and salutes)
JANE: Yes, ma’am.
(PENNY tries to look tough and tall. She salutes back).
PENNY: I order you to get me a juice.
JANE: Yes, ma’am.
(JANE rushes off and brings back a juice box)
PENNY: And an apple.
JANE: Ma’am, yes, ma’am.
(JANE rushes out and gets an apple)
PENNY: Now drop and give me a 1,000.
JANE: A 1,000?
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