Corporal Wayne and Major Pain short script for 2 actors
PREVIEW:
(WAYNE wears a soldier’s uniform and is packing things into a duffle bag. NICK, a younger brother, watches him from behind something. WAYNE smiles and holds up his phone like a walkie-talkie)
WAYNE: This is Corporal Jones contacting command. I’m detecting an unknown entity in my perimeter.
NICK: It’s just me, Wayne.
WAYNE: I can never be too careful.
NICK: What’s a corple?
WAYNE: Corporal. Two stripes.
(WAYNE points to the two stripes on his arm)
NICK: Does that mean you’re in charge?
WAYNE: Not really.
NICK: So who’s in charge?
WAYNE: Lots of people. Sergeants, lieutenants…
NICK: Captains?
WAYNE: Yes, sir. And majors.
NICK: I’m a major.
WAYNE: Really? I didn’t know that.
NICK: Yup. The army called me and made me a major.
WAYNE: So that’s how you become a major? I always wondered how that happened.
NICK: I’m your boss now and you have to do everything I say.
(WAYNE stands at attention and salutes)
WAYNE: Yes, sir.
(NICK tries to look tough and tall. He salutes back).
NICK: I order you to get me a juice.
WAYNE: Yes, sir.
(WAYNE rushes off and brings back a juice box)
NICK: And an apple.
WAYNE: Sir, yes, sir.
(WAYNE rushes out and gets an apple)
NICK: Now drop and give me a 1,000.
WAYNE: A 1,000?
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